A man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down holding his penis.
A young nurse says “Why are you doing that?”
He replies, “It died today.”
“Oh that’s terrible!”, the nurse replied
The next day the man has his penis hanging outside of his pants again.
The same nurse says, “I thought it died yesterday.”
The man replies, “It did. Today is the viewing.
Best Quotes by William Sexpear….
Folding Chair & Woman – Both Useless If Legs Closed.
Microwave & Girl – Both Get Hot In 15 Sec
Bra & Bar – Men Go Crazy When They Are Open.
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, Cut it off and shove it up his arse!”(desivalley.com) The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, It fucking hurts doesn’t it!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 190 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, broughtthe box back in the house.She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.Bob has been missing since Friday.